How to Thrive (or just survive) in Your 30's

"Flirty, thirty and thriving" is what we aim for!  But sometimes, life gets real AF and we just need to survive the day.   On episode 2, we chat about how to thrive (or just survive) in your 30's and tips that have helped me along the way!

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Leela Gurukul Podcast Guided Meditations
by Chandresh Bhardwaj
Who Am I?
Cultivating Courage and Strength
Self- Trust

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Theme music mixed & produced by Lynz Munich

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Wait, what? Hey, this is the haha, wait, what? Podcast with Mandy Brooke. I'm an entertainer, content creator, and musician. You may know me from my song parodies and funny antics on Instagram and TikTok. On my podcast, we try to make sense of the confusing parts of life because literally we're all winging it and have no idea what we're doing. And that's totally okay. So relax, grab a glass of wine and let's chat. That was a clip of my viral video, Big 30 Energy, that reached over 30 million viewers on Instagram and TikTok. And it's how most of you got to know me. So thank you so much for being here. This little parody of Lotto's big energy resonated with those struggling through their 30s. And by golly, I fucking feel you. Turning 30 was borderline traumatic. I'm so dramatic about everything because like overnight shit just started rapidly changing. It seems like every day I wake up and there's a new fine line on my face and my shoulders are cracking. It seems like every person my age officially has that supplement vitamin station on their counter where they store their immune gummies and their collagen powder and their vitamin C packets to hopefully turn back the hands of time. Getting older is making me think about balancing my hormones and losing weight before it's too late. And I feel such a sense of urgency, like I need to make up for wasted time. It's sometimes debilitating, and it feels really scary. We're officially the sandwich generation, where we're watching our parents get older, and we're struggling with the idea of actually being without them. And some of us have lost them already. So where did our youth go? And The more important question is, how the fuck are we actually the adults now? And we're supposed to know what we're doing? Bro, I hardly understand how insurance works, and I'm not even sure how I bought and sold my first house in Nashville. I remember signing the papers thinking like, well, I hope this turns out okay, because I have no idea how I even fucking got here. And property taxes? Oh my god. And I'm pissed because Jennifer Gardner was the epitome of 30, flirty, and thriving. And if the movie was made today, it would be sad, divorced, and broke. 13 Going on 30 displayed a 30-year-old having an office job in New York and a hot boyfriend. And I feel like I'm just utterly flailing through life. Sometimes. All the time. A lot of the time. But I realize I'm not the only one. And thank God for that. But like I say in my parody, those are the negatives. Let me hit the positives. Because good golly, there are so many positives to being in your 30s. Yeah, shit is going wrong everywhere, but we can only do what we can do, you know? And even if we're just moving 1% a day into a new direction, at least we're moving. So let's chat about one of the topics I get most often on my social media. How to thrive or just survive in your 30s, despite the bullshit. But first, let's hear from our sponsors that make this podcast possible. Herbal Face Food is the most potent anti-aging skincare product on the market. Period. And I should know because I've been using it for months and I've literally been obsessed. Herbal face food isn't a magic potion. It's simply the best of plant science at work. No fillers, no chemicals, no BS. The powerful potent serum is packed with antioxidants that heal your skin at a cellular level from the outside in and addresses the top signs of aging in three days or less. I personally noticed a huge difference in my skin texture and the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles when I combined both the serum one and the cure to my routine. My skin tag on my neck actually fell off as well. It was gross, but amazing. So I definitely recommend. Click the link in my show notes and use code Mandy Brooke for 20% off your first order. Mandy with a Y, Brooke with an E. Welcome back. Okay, so the first thing that makes me thrive in my 30s is literally not giving a fuck anymore. And I know a lot of you feel the same way, so we are in a good spot. It was like overnight that things that used to bother me in my 20s weren't even a blip on my radar. And that was so weird because I like overanalyze everything. For example, my body image. So full disclosure, I did have an eating disorder in my late teens, early 20s that stemmed from a lot of pressure I was receiving from my music management to be stick thin. I was also called thunder thighs in school, which didn't help. So I spent a lot of my energy fussing over my weight, going on yo-yo diets and working out incessantly and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I felt myself finally letting go of the idea of the perfect body around like 28 or 29. But it wasn't until I turned 30 that that mindset completely shifted to just like pure health, you know, not so much my body, but my overall health in general. I think life just gets like really fucking real in your 30s and you just naturally let go of things that aren't beneficial because you have way more on your plate, like kids you have to take care of, your health, your parents, or just surviving in general. And with people, my attitude is If you like me, great. If you don't, you're missing a freaking party because I'm a fucking delight. Like, miss me with the opinions and the critiques. If you're not having sex with me or you're not paying my bills, I could literally give a flying fuck about your opinion unless I'm specifically seeking it. Because if you're not adding to my life in a positive way, bye. I don't give a fuck anymore. And it feels great. I'd love to know what you don't give a fuck about anymore in your 30s. So DM me and let me know on my socials. And for those of you who are still struggling on how not to give a fuck anymore, here's a really good tip from my personal arsenal. And actually my mom. If you're worried about what people are thinking of you, just remember that those people are not thinking about you as much as you're thinking about them. And if they were, they're probably losers with no life and you don't care about their opinions anyway. It's really important to fill your life with things that you're super passionate about, whether that's building your business or raising your kids or trying new recipes, starting a YouTube channel about sewing, playing sports, or even going on an evening walk. Fill your life with things you're excited about so you're not focusing on the lack. And then you're certainly not giving a fuck about what people are thinking because you're going to be so obsessed with what you're doing that you'll have no room for the outsider's opinion. Fuck them and stay in your own lane. Problem solved. The second way that I have thrived in my 30s is creating a daily self-care and spiritual practice for myself. And I never, ever, ever skip it. We show up for everyone else, right? So it's even more important to show up for ourselves. My self-care routine involves things like putting lotion on my body after I shower and not rushing through it. I really feel my body and I rub and massage my legs and my varicose veins and I just love on myself. Now, I know every woman can't afford to spend a gajillion minutes putting lotion on their body, but even if you have two minutes, just be in that two minutes with yourself. Think of it like you're comforting an intimate lover. Because that's how I think we should treat ourselves, you know, like a relationship, like a lover, like a friend, you know, not to be cheesy or anything, but it's just the truth. And even if I'm drunk off my ass, I still will not skip my skincare regimen at all. I will always wash my face and at least put moisturizer on. If you are in your 30s and you do not have a skincare regimen, please do yourself a favor. Wash your freaking face. Get a moisturizer and a bottle of herbal face food serum one or hyaluronic acid serum if you want to start slow and wear mineral sunscreen during the day. I cannot stress this enough. I've linked all my go to's in my Amazon store in my show notes. So definitely check that out. And I highly suggest the herbal face food serum one. It's there as well with my discount code. So you will thank me later. Another thing that I have recently implemented in the last year, which has dramatically changed my life on a cellular level, is a daily spiritual practice. I'll get more into this on another episode because I could talk for hours and hours and hours about this topic. But in short, my spiritual practice involves meditation and journaling in my sacred space. I keep fresh flowers where I sit, and I always light a candle to honor my space as well. I usually do this in the evenings and it's where I truly show up for myself. And I know what a lot of you are saying because I said the same thing for years. Mandy, I can't meditate. My mind is too loud. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it's loud because it has something to say. Meditation isn't about clearing your mind. It's about witnessing it. My spiritual teacher, Chandresh Barjwaj of the Leela Guru Cool podcast, gave me the best example of how to look at meditation. Imagine you're a conductor of a circus, watching the circus practice their stunts before the show. And you walk calmly out to the middle of the ring while the elephants are going crazy and the trapeze artists are flying overhead, and it's pure chaos, right? But the conductor knows that that's just the nature of the circus. He's calm and he sits in a chair in the middle of the ring and witnesses the chaos. You are the conductor and your mind is the circus and your job is to witness the chaos. That's what meditation is. at least at first. Sean Dresch has many guided meditations for free that I'll link in my show notes below if you want to explore. And I definitely suggest his podcast, the Leela Gurukul podcast, if you're going through your own spiritual awakening or need help dealing with the chaos of life in general. So whatever your spiritual or self-care practice looks like for you, just make sure that you take the time to show up for yourself and watch how you blossom. The third thing that has allowed me to thrive in my 30s, which is still a work in progress, to be honest, is letting go of the person that I thought I was. Letting go of the titles and identities that the old me attached myself to. For example, the title of musician and artist. Some of you may know that I have worked mostly my entire life in the music industry in some form or fashion. And I've always chased the dream of being an artist on a big stage and headlining shows and all the things. And I had a very specific vision in my mind of what that would look like. And I held on to that identity for so long because I had convinced myself at a very early age that that was what I was supposed to do. And that still may be true. I don't know the future for sure. But I put so much pressure on myself to succeed that I actually pushed away my desire. But I was so attached to that identity that I couldn't see past it. And it caused me so much depression and anxiety because I could never live up to the vision that I had in my head. And I didn't realize that it was actually holding me back from my full potential. I see a lot of women attach themselves to the identity of being a good mother, a good daughter, sister, best friend, you name it. But those titles are not really who you are on the inside. You're a lot more dynamic and complicated and beautiful. And once you let those titles fall away, you're left with just you. So I'm going to ask you, who the fuck are you? So if you're listening to this and you're divorced, like me, or living at your mom's house, like me, or not sure about your career or not feeling like an adequate enough parent or partner, just know that you're not alone. Your 30s are all about discovering who you are. And honestly, life is about discovering who we are. So if you loved this episode, please subscribe, rate, and review this podcast so it becomes visible to more and more besties like you. Until next time, be a fucking delight, bitch.